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The Difference
Between men’s and women’s sex fantasies is this: If the cheerful 19 year old girl who delivers mail to my office came up to me one afternoon when no one else was around, and said “hey– you want to duck...
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Old News: Adria Richards
This is a post about this person. Adria Richards is not a person. She is a hologram reverse engineered by woman-hating reactionaries to perfectly fulfill every antifeminist nightmare. There is just no...
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The Hottest Girl of All Time
You gotta understand that the hottest girl of all time is a sixteen year old special needs student with big tits who once sat wet in a white bikini on my uncle’s washing machine. He had a place by a...
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The Phone Bill
is due. Way past due, months. We’re at the two missed calls every hour stage; they come from different numbers. My phone number is 831, from Santa Cruz, and they mix it up lobbing calls at me from 408,...
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Jonathan Livingston Dumbass
… I was at the beach on Memorial Day. Just for a minute– I had to work. I’d asked my boss if we had the day off. He did not respond. This meant: what do you think. I’m sure he was infuriated. But I...
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It Will Be Very Unpleasant
image stolen from elderscrolls.wikia.com At the Mexican Doctor to get my surgeon referral. For the ass surgery I will need. Telemundo is on and the Copa Mundial is playing. Nigeria versus somebody....
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One Small Act of Kindness
He lived alone. Every morning the same spider had fallen in the bathtub. An elegant silvery-looking affair. He’d pick her up carefully by three legs (one leg would have just snapped off). Place her by...
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Fruit of My Loins
Need to write something. But I fucking hate writing. I have nothing. Thoughts too scattered. Never write anything good again. So what. I’ve done more than most. I’ll never be satisfied with this shit....
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Train Diary: Mamacita
Image from youtube user dferg100 I’m posting old unpublished material to draw page views for my new book Finally, Some Good News. This story is entirely fictional, it never happened, and the guy in it...
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